Ron: Bloody hell how are we going to get past that miserable mutt

Harry: I dont know, maybe we should ask it for a spot of tea?

Hermione: I know just what to do I read all about them. Raise your wand and say conflibular estubitubi

            As soon as these words left her mouth the dog was turned into a tiny poodle

Ron: let me guess you got that spell in standard book of spells grade 1

Hermione: no actually I got that spell from If you ever encounter a three headed dog named Fluffy in the third floor corridor.

Harry: shut up both of you. I hate friends. We need to find Snape before he gets the sorcerers stone

            So they jumped down that trapdoor

Ron: AHHHHHHHHHHH a plant

Hermione: not just any plant its the devils snare relax or you will die

Ron: but its a flower

            And with those words he walked out of it Hermione and Harry

Hermione: Ron how did you do that?

Ron: like I said its a flower whats it going to do get us dirty

            They proceeded to an area with birds but they werent birds they were keys, Keys with wings. There was a broom in the middle of the room

Harry: I bet I know what I have to do get on the broom and get a key

            So Harry got onto to the broom and lifted off as soon as his feet left the ground all of the keys flew into Harry

Harry: ow! Ow! Ow! Sharp and blunt objects are running into me and its utterly, utterly painful

            With this Harry fell of his broom (CRACK) went his neck. When Hermiones eyes drew to the door

Hermione: Well what do you know, the key has been in the door all this time I guess you didnt even have to get on the broom Harry.

Harry: ugh

            After Hermione repaired Harrys broken neck they set off for the next room

Hermione: what is it? Some type of grave yard

Ron: I know what it is. Its a chess set

Harry: what do you think they want us to do

            As they drew neared to the opposing pawns

Ron: I reckon they want us to play

Hermione: screw that

            And the all walked past the chess pieces straight to the next room. The next room had three goblets and a door of fire

Harry: I bet we have to drink the right potion and It looks like theres only enough for one

Hermione: we could do that but why dont we just use the potion and throw it on the fire

            So they did and that did the trick it put out the fire and they proceeded to the next chamber

Everyone: Gasp! Its the mirror or Erised and professor Quirrel

Quirrel: well yeah who did you expect, Snape?

Ron: well kinda!

Quirrel: Oh well I think I will let my master kill you then get the stone.

Harry: your master?

Voldemort: yes me Harry. And im going to kill you now

Quirrel: Expeliarmus

            Harry, Ron and Hermiones wands were flown into the air and Quirell caught the wands and cornered them evilly.

Ron: what are we going to do

Harry: only one thing to do fight MORTAL COMBAT STYLE

            Harry, Ron, and Hermione charged Quirell and attacked him. Hermione Bit him on the face, Ron was kicking him in the groin and Harry was bitch slapping him.