As Harry entered the chamber of secrets he soon saw Ginny's limp body on the floor of the chamber. harry went running down the corridor praying that ginny was okay, when he tripped and landed on his face. Feeling stupid he got back up when he realized that he was not alone with ginny in the chamber. "hello who are you? I'm Harry Potter and my hobbies include complaining endlessly about things and playing wizards chess, my weaknesses include cryptonite and pointing out my major flaws, I enjoy taking walks on the beach durring sunrises or sunsets. whats your name", Harry blurted stupidly, when he realized that he made a devistating mistake, he told a stranger his weaknesses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "We've met before Potter", said a mysterious stranger. Harry let out a gasp "Your Tom Riddle". "Your half right you foolish, muggle loving, moron, but you see i am much, much more than that dirty name given to me by my muggle father, for you see i am really Lord Voldemort", said the young Voldemort.

 "but how", asked harry.
 "through magic", said Tom.....Lord........Tom riddle.
"Don't be stupid magic doesnt exi........oh yeah forgot about that whole magic existing thing", said Harry.
"Well Harry it's time for your demise, time to summon my pet HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIII", screamed Voldemort
2 hours went by without anything happening when harry asked, " Do you think i can go now, im missing out on major complaining time".
"YOU MAY ABSOULTELY NOT", said Voldemort through a temper tantrum,"WE WILL TRY THIS AGAIN KOOOOOOOOOKOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA"
when nothing happend for another thirty minutes....
"yeahhhhhhh..... ummm i kind of have to go to the bath room so if you dont mi..." said Harry when he was cut off.
"I can do it honest it worked before, honest it did!!", said voldemort pleading with harry to stay.
"surrrrrrrrrrrrre", replied harry sarcastically.
"one more time", screamed Voldemort" HAAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHOOOOO"
nothing happend
when finally voledmort said" Voice activated garage door opener my a.."
when he whipped out a remote from his pocket and said "Potter, it is time to have a date, no not with Cho, from doing that i'm doing you a favor (wink), but a date with the basalisk (evil cackaling)" said voldemort.

Sure enough the basalisk finally came out of crevice in a giant statue, but by that time harry had been running away screaming, when he heard the slither chase him he ran further when tripped again. All hope he thought was lost when the beautiful phoenix came soaring down and gouged the Basalisks eyes out, not with his beak but with pruning shears.
"BLAST THAT INFERNAL BIRD",said Tom Riddle or Voldemort,"now that its eyes are gouged out it cant instantly kill you with its vision, Oh well it can still kill you with its Fangs GWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhee hee".
"LOSER". said Harry with the L on his forehead to voldemort when Fawkes the phoenix dropped the sorting hat onto his lap.
 Harry thought how in the world could this help him when the basalisk thrashed at him, but Fawkes repelled it with a indestructable shield charm.
"What am i suposed to do with this hat?", said Harry
"Kaaa Kaa Shreee Cheep", said Fawkes
"Say what?," asked harry
Lucky for harry that Fawkes shield charm penetrated only when fawkes wanted to for fawkes whipped out a chalk board for Fawkes to explain what Harry had to do to save the day. After 2 hours and a half harry shrieked "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, i get it i pull somthing out of the hat".
Fawkes slapped a wing to his head as if to say "what a moron, it took him that long?", and nodded, took flight and the shield shimmered away. The Basalisk arose from his nap and was preparing to strike, when Harry acted quickly he pulled 2 items out of the hat one a piece of parchment with text too old for harry to read, and a George Forman grill. "What the Bloody *&#@ am i suposed to do with this", asked harry
Lucky for harry, the Basalisk had HORRIBLE aim for the phoenix had to explain to harry yet again what to do but when Harry finally got it the basalisk's aim hit him in the shoulder. Harry let out a girlish scream, fortunatly for him Fawkes healed him with his tears and Harry acted quickly he grabbed the parchment and the George Forman grill and screamed "sorry TOM but theres been way too much atention drawn to you in this book. Bye Volde-dork". Harry said with pig snorks, laughing at his own joke.
He placed the parchment into the george forman grill and plugged the little plug thingy into his wand. Huge blankets of steam errupted from the Forman grill blocking Harry and Voldemort's view.
"WHAT MAGIC IS THIS" asked voldemort.
A demonic cry was heard. The steam cleared and voldemort let out a cry.

"NO NOT THAT ANYTHING BUT THAT", said Voldemort
the thing that arose from the George Forman Grill was a demonic creature known as Cher. What happend next was so quick that harry only hear a small tidbit of what happend for he didnt dare look (being scared and all). He heard the words "Babe, ive got you babe" from the demonic creature and a horse cry that went OAHAHAHAWHWHWHW. along with the basalisk's and voldemort's girly screams. the Chamber was stainded with blood when harry opened his eyes cher was still there.
"Have you figured it out yet harry"? asked cher

"What do you mean"? asked harry
"I AM THE TRUE EVIL BEING OF THIS LAND", cher let out with a cackle

"TO BE CONTINUED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA", said the statue that the basalisk came out of.