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CAST:
Naseem
Lauren
Derek
Malley
Carly
Zacque
Shlee
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Once upon a time OH SCREW THE ONCE UPON A TIME THING! I mean come on! Who the hell even invented that anyways? Its stoopid! Once upon a time, HAH! Once upon a time my ass! Ahem. Anyways
Once upon a midnight dreary while Naseem was really bored and was sitting on her arse wondering what to do when she had an idea and raced to her computer to write. And now I bring you A really pointless play!
It all started some time ago, when Matt, Derek, Zacque, and Shlee were walking along in the woods and happened to stumble upon Lauren, Carly, and Naseem, sitting on the ground eating a picnic that consisted entirely of MUFFINS!
Shlee: Hey! Muffins! I want one! (proceeds to grab a muffin, trips over a clump of mushrooms)
Carly and Naseem: Stupid McClure! (they laugh)
Shlee: Shut up stupid 8th graders! (throws a muffin at Naseem)
Naseem: HEY! (throws one back)
Shlee: You threw a muffin at me in the last play, its only fair that I can throw one at you! At least you dont fall off a roof! (see Laurens Walk Through the Graveyard of Doom)
Naseem: Hahahahaha! OK youre right. I throw myself at your feet and beg for mercy.
Derek: o0o0o! Muffins! (grabs a muffin and stuffs it whole into his mouth)
Shlee: Bow before me lowly 8th grader and kiss my feet! (shoves shoe into Naseems face)
Naseem must kiss the shoe, for she was at the mercy of Ashleys sword. Then Ashley kicked Naseem in the face. Naseem passed out.
Derek: Hey! That was mean! (runs to Naseem, bits of muffin falling out of his mouth)
The rest: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Suddenly the clouds turned a weird peach-plum color and guess what? They dropped peaches and plums! Derek ran around trying to catch them but then a giant peach fell from the sky and knocked out Derek. So now Naseem and Derek were lying on the ground knocked out.
Malley: This calls for super wizard powers. ACTIVATE FLASHING LIGHTS! (Malley revives Naseem and Derek with flashing lights)
Then it got very very dark. Everyone but Malley were whimpering because they were scared.
Malley: LUMOS! (his wand lights up)
Zacque and Shlee: Pretty!
Derek: WHEE! Light! (proceeds to touch wand)
Then Derek touched the wand and he burned himself. Little did he know that Matts wand was super magical. The intense magic burned his hand.
Derek: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWIE! (Derek cries)
Zacque and Naseem: There there Derek. HAH! JINX! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10! HAH! NOW YOU OWE ME A SODA!
Lauren: Shut up you guys youre so stupid. (hits Naseem and Zacque)
So they all walk for a bit and suddenly came upon an abandoned house. Derek and Shlee peeked inside a window and found that there was no one home. Matt opened the door.
Malley: Nox! (wand goes out)
Naseem: Hey I found the light switch! (flips switch, lights turn on)
Lauren: Wow! A fridge! I am HUNGRY! (Lauren goes to raid the fridge)
Naseem: Finally, somewhere to sleep! (jumps onto bed) Wow this is a really bouncy bed! Come on everyone, try it!
So everyone goes to jump on the bed. Shlee and Carly end up having too much fun. They bounced right through the ceiling and landed on the roof. Soon they get attacked by killer squirrels (sent by Ben Steensgard). Sadly, they ended up dying. Lauren and Naseem and Matt went up to the roof.
Malley: Theres no spell that can undo the dead!
Lauren: Yes there is! Fetch me a knife Naseem, and a net too please.
Naseem grabs net off of a tree, then asks Zacque to throw a knife up to the roof.
Naseem: (handing Lauren the objects) Belizzle, are you gonna do what I THINK youre gonna do?
Lauren: (winking) You got it.
Lauren throws the net over the squirrels who are laughing at Carly and Shlee. She orders them all killed. Malley kills them all. She then magically cooks them and dumps teriyaki sauce all over them. Naseem and Lauren eat them.
Naseem: Wow! Teriyaki squirrels are good! (shouts through the hole in the roof) Hey you guys! Come up here and have some squirrel!
Derek: We cant, the ceilings too high and we cant fly or anything.
Malley: No problem! (clears throat) WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!
Suddenly Derek and Zacque were on the roof with everyone else. Naseem and Lauren gave everyone some squirrel. They all forgot about Carly and Shlee. They all sat together happily, eating squirrel kabobs and staring at the stars with each other.
The End
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